Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Jealous again

I've been reading on several other blogs lately about Retirement. 

Yep, retirement.

And I know in my heart that I will never - N E V E R - be able to retire from working.

The closer I get to that age (and I'm very close) the more I despise working in the corporate atmosphere.  I don't want it to be all about the money.  I want to enjoy what I do!  I mean really, don't we all? 

Hehehe.  Yeah.  I hear ya.  The cost of medical bills alone is enough to keep me working to the grave.

But still I dream, and yearn for the retirement that would allow some (minor) travel, and a home of my own, and time to devote to volunteering and writing and all those other things that ... well, are in reality never gonna happen.

And so, the hideous green toothed, wretched-hearted beast is clawing its way through my psyche again.


  1. I'm sad that this is your situation - and that of many Americans these days. I don't feel I recognise my country any more. I can't say I think it is any longer the land of opportunity. There must be some other options for you to consider. What would happen if you declared bankruptcy? It wouldn't be my first choice, but if the system backed me into a corner I would consider it. Do you have any friends you like well enough to live with? Combining resources with other people is what got my parents their first (shared) home. My Grandmother actually did well out of the Depression by renting a large house and running a boarding house with half board (evening meal). If nothing else, I suggest you make a list of things you are truly grateful for (mine includes loved ones in my life, my ability to see/hear/speak/think/walk, each material thing that gives me pleasure); review it when the green monster bites your brain and try to think more about what are the good things in your life than the bad. This has carried me through some miserable times in my life. It didn't solve the problems but it gave me a few minutes each morning of something like peace, before I tackled doing all the things I would rather not have had to do. Set some goal - to talk a certain distance, to write so many words, to save so many dollars/pennies, something realistic for you and focus on the progress you can make toward that. Be more selfish in taking care of your physical and mental health. They say that though people's lifestyles have escalated since the 1950s, the higher living standards haven't made us any happier. I try to aim largely for that sort of life style. Limited number of clothes, home cooked meals, read books from the library - all the usual frugal things. That's not the 'keeping up with the Jones'' lifestyle, but it's mine. Comparing yourself to other people will never bring you any satisfaction, no matter how much money you ever have - there will always be some one who lives better than you do. Jealousy, envy and resentment make me physically ill if I indulge. I have observed that money only solves financial problems and big money creates some serious relationship complications. I hope one day that people in the US will find a way to make the system work for all its citizens, not just the rich, but until then you'll need to find a way to survive the life you have. Have you considered immigrating to Canada? Nine million Americans live abroad - and most are in either Canada or Mexico...

  2. Hi, Shelley: I agree, it is sad to have most of the population - at least the ones my age-group (Boomers) - in this situation. Generally I don't dwell on it, just do my normal very frugal living thing; then something will happen & BAM there it is again. *sigh*
    I am currently helping support a couple of family members, and no we don't live in the same house. And the recent issues with my mother's health have depleted an otherwise healthy savings account. I have goals with getting myself healthier so I don't end up in her situation. I'm working on finishing that novel & have promised myself a writers conference a year from now. I've joined a writers group that meets weekly, and the support and friendships I've made there are invaluable.
    Yes, I have considered emigrating to Canada. However, until those other people that I support no longer need my help, I'm not sure I could actually go. It's still a possibility, but the probability is fairly low.
    I've never been one for "keeping up with the Jones'", but there are a few things on my list that I would love to indulge. Travel is one, and that recent trip to England only whetted my appetite!
    Today I have leftovers of a home-cooked meal for lunch, and brought my WIP (work in progress) notes to work on during the break.
    Today I will walk by the pond behind my office building.
    Today I'm listening to lovely classical music as I work.
    Today I am enjoying my life, and putting the green-toothed monster back in his cave.